A selection of essays
by phoenix on ice
Summary: A story that came to pass when i noticed that they don't teach english at hogwarts.Teachers notice the lack of writting skills at hogwarts, a selection of the results...


**Disclaimer: to own these characters is not a luxury which I posess.**

**Authors note:I don't know where this ficlet came from...I wrote it years ago and just found it on a floppy and figured i'd put it up.**

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Severus glared at the paper before him as the rest of the staff came in and made them selves comfortable. Ignoring the chatter going on around him he again attempted to decipher what the offending piece of parchment said. As Albus began the weekly rundown with the other teachers he moved on to another example to see if he would have more luck there; however after a glance at the new specimen he knew it would be the same story. 

"Severus?"

Glancing up he saw that the headmaster had obviously been waiting for him to say something as everyone was looking at him.

"Yes?" he asked as he tried to figure out what a particular word was.

"I was asking how you week's classes have been, but I get the feeling that you didn't quite hear me the first time as you seemed to be preoccupied marking you student's work; if fact I'm not quite sure if I have you attention at the minute or if I'm talking to the walls again."

Frustrated with his lack of progress he growled and threw the piece of parchment on the table.

"I beg your pardon Albus but I am truly frustrated with this. Those (he point to the stake of homework's on the table as if they were filth) are the seventh year potions homework for Slytherin and Gryffindor. They were to pick one of the potions out of the N.E.W.T.S. syllabus and write a foot long essay on it."

"Are they bad?" Albus asked reaching for one of the homework's. The other teachers peered closely at the stack wanting to see what had prompted the potions master to finally contribute in the weekly rundown. His weekly response since they started this little weekly get together was 'My classes were sufficient, nothing I can't handle.'

"I don't know." Severus said dejectedly as he nodded his head towards McGonagall permitting her to pass them around the other teachers.

Albus looked up from the paper he had been gazing at. "You don't know? I'm afraid I don't understand."

"Just look at them! Half of them I can't even read what the student's are trying to pass off as handwriting. Most of them don't make grammatical sense. They lay it out in no order what so ever. There are no references; no follow through. I can barely understand them, never mind mark them! And the minuscule percentage that I do understand is so far above the others that it seems inconceivable that I mark the others on the same plane as them."

"My goodness (McGonagall said as she looked at Mr Goyle's homework…thankfully he had had to give up transfiguration after O.W.L.S.) have they actually gotten worse!"

"It would appear so Minerva, and frankly I can't stand it any longer. I don't know whether or not it is just my class that they produce work like this or if it has happened in others but I demand that something be done to bring up the standard of basic writing skills."

The other teacher pointed out that they too were having difficulties with some of the students in their class rooms and that they agreed that there had to be something done.

Albus finally closed the meeting after they had come up with a starting point which they would put into effect the next day.

They had to specify which students were at what level of writing. To do this they were going to have the students write an essay about some topic, depending on the year. After that they would find some way to bring up the standards.

"Sit down you incompetent fools." Severus sneered as he entered his classroom. Seventh years; Gryffindor-Slytherin class.

"Today we will not be doing potions."

As the class began visibly brightening Severus had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. The only person apparently not happy with this announcement was Hermione Granger, who looked almost put out by the thought of not doing work.

Strange girl.

"It has come to the attention of the staff that English skills in this school are appalling, and so this class will be spent writing an essay"

At this the class groaned and Hermione perked up.

Very strange child indeed.

"This essay will be completed in this period as to ensure no one gets help with it. You topic is 'someone who has had an influence on your life'; begin."

Noticing Hermione raise her hand he nodded to her indicating for her to ask whatever it was she was going to ask.

"Are there any restrictions on the essay, a certain length we should aim for or stay under? And also, who will be grading these papers?"

"Try to make it at least half a role of parchment, no upper limit, just what you can get done in this class, and I will be marking this class' work." With that Severus went behind his desk and sat down to stare at the class.

Most of them looked around for a few minutes as if confused at the task, Hermione was already scribbling away as were a few others who had just decided to get it over and done with.

An hour later Severus had a stack of essays on his desk. And with the rest of the days classes cancelled to go over the essays Severus headed to his rooms.

_Sum 1 hoe has influeinced me, by Gregory Goyle. _

_Draco Malfoy is the persone I chos two rite about. He's really kool and never maks fun off me. Hes my best frend at skool._

_Draco has blond hare and is smollar than me but wen he tells me two do stuff I do it, cause thats what friends do._

_We me, Crabbe and Draco have rulls. no one is alode to be meen two Draco. If they ar we beet them up. And were not two tell any one that Draco snores, or that he has a teddy bare called snuggles._

_Draco is a good friend who wont let stuff happin to me cause im his friend and keep his sekrits._

_The end._

Well, that was interesting. He's defiantly in need of serious help. Putting a tick in the desperate box beside his name he moved on to the next essay.

_Someone who has influenced me, by Ronald Weasley._

_My little sister Ginny is one year younger than me. Most of the time when I was a kid she really bugged me, but as my older brothers always played around together and wouldn't let me join in I let her play with me. Looking back on it I guess I was really cruel to her as a kid, but she never really minded, or at least she never said anything._

_When I was in first year I didn't really notice that she wasn't around; I suppose making new friends ment that I sort of forgot about her. That summer when I went home it was different between the two of us, we weren't as close. Then she came to Hogwarts and the whole chamber of secrets thing happened. I have never been as scared as when I found out Ginny was in that chamber with god only knows what. When Harry got her back I was so releaved, I had thought for one god awful moment that I'd lost my little sis and that made me realise how much she ment to me._

_It may not seem like she's had that big of an influence on my life but she has. She was the first thing I almost lost and I think she's one of the things I just couldn't live with out._

_After she came back we had a really long chat, she told me that it had hurt when I went away and forgot about her. I realised that I was a big part of her life and that I was important to her._

_To realise you're a big part of someone's life makes one hell of an impact, let me tell you. She may be a pain most of the time, but she's my sis, and I wouldn't trade her for the world._

_That's about it, the end._

How completely pathetic, if not a little sweet. Only a few spelling mistakes though, so overall not bad. ticking the average box by that name he moved on.

_An essay, by Draco Malfoy:_

_My father has been the main influence in my life. From the age of two I have had the Malfoy code drilled into my very being. Childrens stories? Why would I need those when he could quiz me on how a Malfoy should behave at dinner parties?_

_In all respect he really wasn't father material, still isn't but for different reasons. I hate him with every fibre of my being, he is a foul man who expects me to turn into a carbon copy of himself. He never want a son, he wanted a clone; so that is what he got._

_Not many people would admit that the happiest day in their life will be the day their father dies. But until that day I will be stuck behind this mask that I have remained behind all of my life. Only on that day will I truly feel like a human being._

Note to self, take time to talk to Draco, he boy obviously doesn't want to follow in his fathers footsteps, there may be hope for him yet. Ticking the acceptable box he set that letter aside, couldn't have certain eye's reading the information in that letter.

_Some one who has influenced me, by Hermione Granger._

_My parents have influenced me, as well as my teachers, friends; but one person stands out amongst the crowd._

_Well, I guess all of my teachers have influenced me in the way that I want to become a better student and try my hardest to be the best. There is however one in particular who made my life at Hogwarts, shall we say, interesting._

_Severus Snape, the potions master at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry has, from my first day here, regarded me as nothing but an insufferable know it all. Through out first year I strove to prove that I deserved to be in this magical school where I had found myself. Now in most aspects of the school I found that acceptance. I felt like I deserved this gift of magic I was born with._

_However in one particular classroom I was never fully at ease. The way in with this teacher looked upon me made me feel like I didn't belong here. And no matter what I learnt from books and no matter how many perfect potions I handed over it would make no difference in his eyes._

_In my second year I brewed a potion known as polyjuice potion. This potion was well above my expectant level of expertise but I had to prove to myself, if not to him, that I was as good at potions as anyone else. The potion worked, but it made no difference, I couldn't tell him of this small feat as I wasn't permitted to be brewing it and so his opinion of me would not change. For six years I tried to get him to see me as more that what he saw on my first day in his classroom._

_In fifth year I stopped waving my arm in the air, like I had before desperate to prove my intelligence. I stopped including extra research in my homework, not that I stopped doing the research, I just didn't include it._

_I stopped trying…for a whole year I was just another student. And it made no difference. He didn't even notice._

_So I resolved to find a way to get him to notice me._

_I purposely fouled up potions in the hopes that he would notice when I did get them right. I went back to adding the footnotes and research into my homework, sometime making it twice the required length._

_But nothing worked; I was still the know it all that had to have an answer for everything._

_So in my seventh year I did the unthinkable. I gave up. I lost hope of him ever treating me like a human being. And just as I gave up hope a strange opportunity arose that meant I might tell him exactly what I thought, and he would have to read it. So here we are professor. I was told to write an essay on someone who influenced me in some way and I wrote about you. You made me want to make you notice me, and I guess, or at least hope, I finally achieved my goal._

_The end._

What the…? Um, ok… that was extremely weird. I can truly say I wasn't expecting that. Perfect spelling of course, but what else can you expect. And I did notice that she stopped adding footnotes, but it's not like you can go up to a student and ask 'why did you stop adding extra information that had nothing to do with the assignment at all, even if they were interesting, and could you please continue to put them in as I usually found them quite enlightening and entertaining?'. Yeah, that would go down well.

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**so? what did you think?**


End file.
